It has been a great time of trial, one that is still leading me in dark places I could not imagine getting even darker…yet…here I am…again.
Hard to believe it has been almost 25 years since I would ponder my time being short slogging away at Rose’s, knowing that my pastorate was just around the corner.
Now that home is long gone, that store a distant memory in the chain of defunct retail outlets, my youth pastorate yet another distant memory, three states, 1600 miles and 20+ years ago. My current position is one of the most bitter I have ever worked in, and socially, mentally and spiritually as bad as junior high was 45 years ago.
I have come to the place where I could feel that I would rather be accountable for a thousand lifetimes lived as a drunken, lecherous blasphemer…than for any 10 minutes I played pastor. I am prayerless and at a loss for words, my need for a steady income to support my family being the only reason I stay where I am at.